What I See When I Talk to Your Wife: An Open Letter to Husbands Who Look at Porn

Last week was heavy. Last week I talked with over 20 women whose lives have been forever altered by pornography. I talked with wives who have recently discovered their husbands have been viewing porn. I talked with daughters who have discovered porn on their fathers’ devices. I talked with women who have become addicted to porn themselves through the encouragement of their husbands.

And today, I am soul-piercingly tired.

After talking with yet another woman who found porn on her husband’s phone, I had to take a break to process. What emerged was this open letter I am sharing with you in an effort to describe exactly what I see when I sit down with your wives. This is not about one specific couple. You would be surprised how consistently similar the stories are. These are the common threads I see in nearly every conversation with a wife who discovers her husband has been looking at porn.

I just wanted you to know.