Now Published!

You can now find “The Other Side of the Storm: Recovering from Your Husband’s Porn Addiction” on Amazon!

This Can Be Beautiful When Brittany Richardson discovered her husband had been hiding a pornography addiction, she was ready to kill him. But she discovered hope, and in The Other Side of the Storm, she offers that same hope to women who find themselves in the same nightmare she was in.

You will be helped as she shows: why your husband viewed porn and how to help your husband recover from it, what multi-billion dollar industries are trying to do to your marriage, and most importantly how to recover from the betrayal and come out on the other side with a stronger, more fulfilled marriage.

With counsel from God’s word, stories from other women in the same situation, and her own research, Brittany has crafted a book that needed to be written, and one that needs to be read by all women who are married or want to be.

You owe it to yourself to read this book.”

~ Cobb Publishing

The Other Side of the Storm – Pre-Order!

Pre-Order Your Copy!

We are now taking pre-orders for our book The Other Side of the Storm: Recovering from Your Husband’s Porn Addiction! From November 30 through December 4, contact us at joshandbritt@thebeatenroad.com to order your copy for $10.99 plus shipping (Regular price: $14.99).


“One day you can be grateful for the pain you are now enduring. Eventually the rain will stop beating and the raging wind will die down. You can then look back at this refining fire and see the splendor of what God creates from the ashes. Hold on. The beauty may not be immediately obvious, but it is there even in the worst situation. It is in your faith, courage, endurance, forgiveness, and commitment to your husband. It is in the rich mercy of our Savior. And it is in the hope Christ has given us that sin can be beaten.

In time you will notice the sun is shining again. The birds are chirping their chorus of praise once more. The grass is even greener now.

Don’t you love the beauty that follows a storm?”

Excerpt from “The Other Side of the Storm” by Brittany Richardson (with Joshua Richardson)


Coming Soon! A Book for Wives of Porn Addicts

One moment can destroy everything…

“Don’t come home,” Marie texted Isaac. She had received an odd email that afternoon – an invitation to a chat room. Hoping it was spam, Marie decided to take a quick look at the search history on her husband’s tablet, just to ease her mind. What she found made her head pound. Her world seemed to fall apart before her eyes as she scrolled page after page of sickening images. In their 10 years of marriage, Marie had never once entertained thoughts of infidelity. But now, as she browsed Isaac’s bookmarked sites, she calculated the best way to show her husband what it felt like to be cheated on. Her own thought appalled her. And yet…

Does Marie’s reaction surprise you? Probably not. Shock regularly brings to mind thoughts which would ordinarily be far out of character. Depression, rage, anxiety, a desire for revenge, and even suicidal thoughts are not uncommon reactions to a revelation of betrayal in marriage. Whatever your initial reaction to discovering your husband’s porn use, I can assure you it was not unique. There is nothing you felt in that moment that has not been felt by hundreds of other women in similar situations.


It is normal to feel:
        Betrayed – You have been betrayed.
        Angry – Your husband has committed a sin against you and against God.
        Depressed – Your husband has destroyed your faith in your marriage.
        Overwhelmed – You’re facing a crisis that will not suddenly disappear.


Feeling stressed, daunted, humiliated, and confused is to be expected as you process this crisis. Porn use is a violation of trust, and trust is one of the most basic foundations of your relationship. Take away trust, and the construct of your entire marriage starts to crumble. The cascade of emotions you are experiencing is a response to the disintegration of that trust. It’s called “Betrayal Trauma.”

Excerpt from “The Other Side of the Storm: Recovering from Your Husband’s Porn Addiction” by Brittany and Joshua Richardson


What if there IS hope for your marriage after porn?

From the Back Cover:

“When Brittany Richardson discovered her husband had been hiding a pornography addition, she was ready to kill him. But she discovered hope, and in The Other Side of the Storm, she offers that same hope to women who find themselves in the same nightmare she was in.

You will be helped as she shows: possible reasons your husband viewed porn and how to help your husband recover from it, what multi-billion dollar industries are trying to do to your marriage and, most importantly, how to recover from the betrayal and come out on the other side with a stronger, more fulfilled, marriage.

With counsel from God’s word, stories from other women in the same situation, and her own research, Brittany has crafted a book that needed to be written, and one that needs to be read by all women who are married or want to be.

You owe it to yourself to read this book.”

Cobb Publishing

Is Pornography Cause for Divorce? (Link)

Pornography destroys hearts, homes, and souls. It is such common issue that it is now a major factor in over 56% of divorces in the U.S. But what does God have to say about pornography and divorce? Join Brittany over at The Christ-Centered Home for an in-depth Bible study on the question “Is Pornography Cause for Divorce?

Episode 5: The Trauma of Betrayal (For Women)

Betrayal from someone emotionally close to you often causes psychological trauma. The emotional damage can manifest itself as depression, anxiety, rage, and an inability to cope with daily life. If you struggle with these symptoms after discovering your husband’s porn addiction, you are not alone. There is hope and there is help for healing!

You Don’t Want to Quit

You don’t want to do it. You just want it to be done. You’re kinda like me. I’d really like to play an instrument, but I just never actually learned. Why? Because I want to know how to play. I don’t want to learn how to play. I want to be good at it RIGHT NOW. But I don’t want to actually do what it would take to become a musician.

We’re like that with pornography sometimes. We want to “be quit”. But we don’t want to do what it takes to quit. It’s hard! And just like learning to play an instrument, you mess up sometimes. But, when learning to play music, you don’t just say “Oh, no! I can’t play like Tchaikovsky on my first day! I guess I’ll quit.” You figure out where you went wrong, and you correct your mistakes.

Sometimes I imagine how cool it would be to just sit down and play like a concert pianist. You know how much good that thought does me? Nada. I can’t even play Chopsticks. For that matter, I don’t even know what Chopsticks sounds like….

I think we could probably all agree, with my history of piano playing and piano dreaming, I will never be a concert pianist. Why do we think we’re going to be any different with pornography if we’re not actually going to DO anything about it?

You say you don’t want to look. You say you don’t want to go back to it. But you never DO anything about it. It’s like those James talked about – those who said they had faith but didn’t do anything with it. But James said, “Show me your faith apart from your works, and I will show you my faith by my works” (James 2:18). Don’t just tell me you want to quit pornography. Show me you’re going to do what it takes to never go back.

When there is something we want to accomplish, we make some type of plan to accomplish it. If we want to quit pornography, we need to make a plan. If I continue my path of only dreaming about playing an instrument, tomorrow I will still only be the guy who can’t play Chopsticks. If you continue “wanting to not look at pornography” but don’t do anything different than what you’ve been doing, then tomorrow you will still be the guy who “doesn’t want to look at pornography”… but still does. You will still be the active addict.

What’s the definition of insanity? “Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.” If you keep falling into pornography but refuse to change anything about your daily habits, then nothing is going to change! Can you imagine Thomas Edison sitting in his workshop making the exact same failed lightbulb 3,980 times and expecting a different outcome on his 3,981st time without changing a single thing? Insanity, right?

Maybe you had a plan. You tried. You failed. Now what? Figure out where your plan broke down. Where was the weak point? What happened just before you gave in? You have to become a self-analyst. Don’t just look at the 20 minutes beforehand, look at what got you headed in that direction to begin with. Look at your history. What’s the commonality that leads up to your fall again and again? It might not even be something sinful. But it’s something that is part of your habit cycle. Study yourself. Figure out where you are stumbling and either remove it or figure out how to change your response.

Be willing to do the hard stuff. Don’t just be extreme. Be ridiculous. Do the stuff that is going to make people look at you and straight up laugh at your desperate measures. Let them laugh. You ARE desperate.

Obviously, you must remove your sources of pornography. But don’t just remove the source where you access porn. You also have to remove the sources that feed your desire, whether they are inherently sinful or not. What’s your trigger? Be honest with yourself (something we’re not particularly good at when we’re stuck in an addiction).

It’s common in warfare to surround the enemy and cut off supplies. You can force a city to surrender without ever firing a shot if you remove its access to food and water. What feeds your addiction? If there is something in your life that is not necessarily pornographic but is triggering a desire to look at porn, get rid of it! Whether it is movies, a relationship, the mall… whatever it is that triggers your desire to look at porn, stay far from it.

If you’re not willing to change what is currently keeping you stuck in the cycle of pornography addiction, then you don’t want to quit. You just want to want to quit. Look, I’m admitting I’ll never be a pianist because I’m not willing to do what it takes to become one. I just think it would be cool. I’m not actually willing to give up the time, energy, and money it would take to learn how to play. But not being a pianist is not going to keep me out of Heaven. Loving my computer more than I love God, on the other hand, will.

Now that you realize it’s going to cost more than you originally thought, do you still want to quit? Or do you just think it would be cool? It’s time to actively want to quit pornography. Buy that flip phone. Cancel the internet service. Keep your computer at a friend’s house. Change jobs. Whatever it takes.

Finally, if you want to quit, you have to be broken. We need to fall on the Rock and allow Him to break us that He may remake us into a pure and holy vessel for His glory (Matthew 21:44). Too often we will not do what it takes because we are afraid of the outcome. “What will happen if I . . .”  We need to trust Christ and allow Him to break us and piece us back together in His image. Because bigger than our desire to be free from addiction is HIS desire to free us from sin. What He asks you to do, He will make it possible for you to do.

And HE wants you to quit.

Stay on the beaten road, friends.

Joshua

A Lamp in the Dark: Hope AFter Betrayal (Guest Post)

Brittany was invited to share our story as a guest author on The Christ-Centered Home blog. Click HERE to read her post.

Episode 4: How to Protect My Tech-Savvy Kids

Jeremy Carmon joins us this month to talk about how to protect our kids from the dangerous world of technology. Jeremy preaches for the Ashland Church of Christ and recently taught a lesson at our congregation on this topic. I asked him to be a guest on The Beaten Road podcast and give our listeners a recap of the advice he shared in his lesson. This is stuff every parent should understand.

Thanks for joining us, Jeremy!

5 Things To Do Today Instead of Watching Porn

You have great intentions, but you also have too much time on your hands. That’s when the temptation to look at porn loves to creep in. Today, instead of looking at pornography, keep yourself busy by choosing to engage in one (or all) of the suggestions below.

1. Expend energy

Exhaust yourself. Hike, bike, go paintballing or rock climbing, conquer the world… Do anything that gets you away from screens and uses up your adrenaline. Pent up energy is a set up for temptation.

2. Invest in Relationships

Connecting with real people in real life is a strong safeguard against porn. You aren’t likely to look at pornography while you’re at Taco Bell grabbing lunch with your kids or shooting hoops with the guys. Porn is all about virtual reality. One of the keys to quitting is to become deeply invested in face-to-face interactions with people in the real world.

3. Find a Purpose

Pornography is very self-serving. It turns you inward, concentrating only on your thoughts, your feelings, your desires, and your pleasures. Get out and consider others! Figure out what someone else needs and how you can fill that need. Sometimes finding an organization to volunteer with is a good idea, but I usually recommend something more personal. Something you have to work at more. Helping someone one-on-one takes time and emotional investment. It grows you and helps them more profoundly. Working in this way also helps with suggestion number two – you are building even more relationships.

4. Get It Done

Look at the things around you that you’ve not completed or even started on and actually get them knocked out. Get the lawn mower up and going for this spring, get your car’s oil changed, write the term paper you’ve been putting off, get a head start on the project you are supposed to be working on Monday. Whatever is on your unending to-do list, get it done. All the way marked off and accomplished! Get to it!

5. Read Your Bible and Pray Every Day…

“…and you’ll grow, grow, grow” as the children’s song goes. As it turns out, it’s very true. Stopping your pornography use is going to grow you exponentially, but to stop in a productive way you are going to need God’s help. You don’t want to rid your life of pornography just to have it filled with seven other worse demons than you already faced (Luke 11:24-26). You need God’s help. You need to open the conversation by speaking to God through prayer and allowing Him to speak to you through His Word.

Whatever you do today, make it count.

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16).

Stay on the beaten road, friends.

Joshua

Episode 3: Help! I Think My Husband is Looking at Porn

What should you do if you suspect your husband looks at pornography? Brittany shares a few thoughts in this month’s episode of The Beaten Road Podcast.